Delete her number
Unfriend her from facebook
Re-read the e-mails
Hesitate to trash them
Archive.
Check your complexion.
Has your color returned?
Are your eyes less red?
Has the river vein on your forehead gone down?
No.
Touch the fine print
hesitate to sign
Hold your head
throw the pen.
Tap your chin
rub the stubble
Pause.
Check your text messages.
Reread the emails
Hesitate to trash them.
Archive.
Bathe your face
and arms
your pillow
in tears.
You are a man and have been-
but
the need to prove that you can
in an instant
forget a single life changing moment
confined in a series of life changing moments
bound in the memory of a single life changing person
is brave
and tiring
and impossible
but necessary-
you say.
You do not kill the memory-
you can try-
but the hole in the wall
left by the nail where her picture hung
is forever seared into your memory.
So
do you thank her for the memories,
do you rid her from your memory
do you replace her picture
do you find a new room,
do you find a new roommate
do you pretend as if you never loved her
as though the conversation that was meant to
untether your heart from hers never did;
or
do you remember that you loved passionately
and sincerely
hopelessly
without reason
or the need for one
and so did she
but only for a decade.
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